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Eight Creative Ideas for Establishing New Holiday Traditions
by Dee Marx-Kelly, LMFT
If
you practice a particular religion, look to the traditional celebrations of your
church, synagogue, or congregation. You may discover traditions that
you've never before enjoyed. Are there services or meetings that you've
never attended before? For example, attending midnight mass, or
caroling. Any local newspaper will have coverage of local events, both
secular and religious.
If
you don't follow a particular belief, nevertheless, you may find it interesting
to examine the traditions of others. For
example, it might be fun for your family to try recipes for Hanukkah delicacies,
Kwanzaa treats, or bake a variety of Christmas cookies. Invite
friends, or 'extended family' to enjoy these treats,
at a seasonal feast, or an open house for a few of your
neighbors. Or, visit elderly neighbors or
shut-ins with a basket of cookies.
Make
a winter supper of hearty soup, a salad, and warm rolls. Have hot
chocolate for desert, and then go on a drive to see the local Christmas
lights. If your community has "Christmas Lights" contests, you
may be able to find areas where many of the houses will be lighted, and may want
to enjoy a walk through those neighborhoods.
Teach
your children the joy of giving by establishing an annual tradition of sharing
with other. Take the kids shopping for blankets, sweaters, or raincoats
for the homeless or less fortunate. Set a reasonable budget for these
items, and augment your purchases with your own used-but-in-good-shape surplus
items. Take the kids with you as you deliver these to a shelter in your
area.
Attend
holiday events sponsored by local religious organizations, or look for seasonal
concerts or ballets. Make this an annual treat (for example, have lunch,
and attend the ballet, The Nutcracker. If you celebrate Christmas, and
have never cut your own tree, this can be a fun outing, which costs no more than
cut trees from tree lots. Invite friends for a light brunch, or just pack
a picnic with "warm and comforting" foods, such as hot chocolate,
coffee, or cafe mocha. Take a picnic jug of hot soup (cream-style soups
can be poured into mugs) or chili. These are easy to serve, and create
very little "fuss." The warmth of soup and hot beverages will be
especially welcome if the day is cool, or rainy. Hunting for trees can be
fun, even in light rain, as long as you take along rain gear--such as emergency
plastic ponchos, available for a couple of dollars in a outdoor store, or giant
garbage bags--cut a hole for the head, and nothing gets wet but your
head.
Do
something festive with someone you care about. For example, take a drive
to the ocean, visit Vasona park to see the lights, or take a special
person--friend, daughter, neighbor--to have high tea. Tea rooms have tea
menus that are priced in the range of a nice luncheon, for a variety of little
pastries, sandwiches, and treats.
When
you've recently divorced, and are unsure about how to celebrate, consider
coordinating with your ex-spouse. Try to realize that the less conflict
there is between you, the better it is for the children. You may find it
best to "divide" holiday time, for example, if you celebrate
Christmas, for Dad to have Christmas Eve and Mom to have Christmas Day (or vice
versa). Even if you are both used to celebrating on Christmas Eve, it may
be worth the extra effort to plan carefully, and to establish new traditions
(even on a different day) to ensure that kids have a sense that all is
well. Utilize the suggestions above, and get creative in coming up with
other, new traditions.
Doing things for others gives us a sense of community,
contribution, and a healthy sense of satisfaction and personal
accomplishment. The holiday season offers many opportunities for
short-term volunteer activities. You can help pack food bags at a food bank, or
at any one of a number of area churches and synagogues. Bake cookies for a
group home (for adolescents placed outside the home) in your area, or for a
nursing home, for the long-term care unit. Call local civic organizations,
religious organizations, or the volunteer bank for more leads on where to help
out.
© 1999 Dee Marx-Kelly
return to home page or, return to December '99 Issue Holidays and Stress Part II
Dee Marx-Kelly is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, in San Jose. She welcomes questions or comments, and can be reached at 408.246.3525, or by e-mail at dmk@surfnetusa.com.
Marx-Kelly
Kwanzaa clipart courtesy of Kid's Domain, click the link: